Write a best man speech that gets laughs without crossing the line

One story that sums him up happened on a weekend away in Manchester. We had booked what Jack described as 'a simple, relaxed plan'. By Friday afternoon, that plan had colour-coded timings, three backup restaurants and a walking route that somehow included 'optional culture'. We laughed at him, obviously. Then the whole weekend ran perfectly, which was deeply annoying.

That is Jack. He will make a joke, take the mick out of himself, and pretend he is laid-back, but underneath it all he cares. He cares about doing things properly. He cares about his friends. And most of all, he cares about Emily.

Emily, from the moment Jack started talking about you, we could all tell something had changed. Mainly because he started using phrases like 'early night' and 'I've already checked the calendar', which was alarming at first. But then we met you, and it made sense. You bring out the best version of him: still funny, still occasionally ridiculous, but calmer, kinder and clearly very happy.

You have also taken on the heroic task of sharing a life with a man who believes loading the dishwasher is a competitive sport and that every minor journey requires a full weather assessment. For that alone, you deserve a round of applause.

In all seriousness, Jack, you are one of the best people I know. You are loyal, generous, dependable and far more thoughtful than you usually admit out loud. Seeing you this happy today is brilliant.

So please join me in raising a glass to Jack and Emily. May your marriage be full of laughter, patience, adventure, excellent spreadsheets and many years of choosing each other. To the bride and groom.

One of my favourite memories is from our final year, when my car broke down in the rain on the way back from a weekend away. I rang Oliver expecting sympathy. Instead, he arrived forty minutes later with jump leads, a packet of biscuits and absolutely no useful mechanical knowledge. The car was not fixed quickly, but somehow the evening became funny rather than miserable.

That is one of his best qualities. Oliver makes difficult moments feel manageable. He does not need a big performance. He just shows up, stays calm and finds a way to make people laugh.

Then Sophie came into his life, and it was obvious she understood him in a way that made him even more himself. Sophie, you bring warmth, energy and a level of organisation that Oliver has benefited from enormously. You also laugh at his jokes, which is kind, although I would encourage you to maintain high standards.

The two of you work because you are genuinely on each other's side. You listen to one another, support each other's ambitions and seem happiest in the ordinary moments: a quiet night in, a walk, a shared joke, or a plan that probably started as Sophie's and was then proudly described by Oliver as 'our idea'.

Oliver, I am proud to stand beside you today. You are a brilliant friend, and seeing you marry someone who clearly loves you for exactly who you are is a real joy.

Ladies and gentlemen, please raise your glasses to Oliver and Sophie. May your marriage be full of laughter, patience, good stories, honest conversations and a lifetime of being each other's favourite person. To the bride and groom.

But underneath the habits, the lists and the occasional lecture about the correct way to pack a car, Harry has one of the biggest hearts of anyone I know. He is generous with his time, protective of the people he loves and happiest when the people around him are happy.

That is why seeing him with Grace has been so special. Grace, you bring out a softness in Harry that we all love seeing. You make him laugh properly. You challenge him when he needs it. And you have somehow convinced him that being spontaneous is not always a threat to public safety.

Together, you have built something that feels calm, kind and real. You support each other in the big things, but it is the small things that stand out: the way you check in with each other, the way you share decisions, the way you can have an entire conversation with one look across a room.

Harry, I could make jokes about you all night, and in fairness I have cut this speech down considerably. But the truth is simple: you are a brilliant friend, a good man, and today you look happier than I have ever seen you.

Grace, thank you for loving him so well and for becoming such a loved part of his life and ours.

Everyone, please raise a glass to Harry and Grace. May your marriage be full of kindness, laughter, patience, adventure and all the ordinary days that become special because you share them. To the bride and groom.